Windmills and Milk

Haircuts and Snowglobes

2009-12-21T18:17:00.000-08:00

I bought myself a Intuos 4 Large Graphics Tablet, and then this was born from my creative womb. Kind of, it was a tutorial of how to draw a BMW, so I was more or less a surrogate. And now since I work in a non creative field for the time being I needed to draw like Garfield needed to eat lasagna.

The Nuclear Garden

2009-03-03T22:13:00.000-08:00

Finished planting the garden. If you look closely the whole thing is held together by twine. No lie. Put that in your pipe and smoke it sustainability.

Captain Ragcliff's Anchor Rings

2009-01-12T21:56:00.000-08:00

I made these, Persian Pistachio. It's an idea for a Doughnut company in the light of places like Cupcakes or any of those niche desert places.

Diamond Mountain Band Poster

2008-12-04T10:26:00.000-08:00

A mockup band poster for the invisible band Diamond Mountain. It's not done yet, but the general idea is there.

A Prelude

2008-12-04T10:23:00.000-08:00

Last year was Krispy Animals.

This is the year of Captain Ragcliff

BAND NAMES

2008-11-04T11:56:00.000-08:00

Band: Diamond Mountain

Album: Gold Mine

Band: Skeleton Orgy

Album: Toxic Blood Elixir

Band: Moon of a Moon

Album: Self Titled

The Great American Aesthetic Chasm of 08

2008-07-03T23:47:00.000-07:00

When at work today, it was stated in a very plain and matterfact kind of tone by the City of Mesa receptionist Maggie, "You look like you're thirty or forty, you just look OOOLD" Now keep in mind that I hadn't seen Maggie in about seven months. Maggie had an apparent look of shock and slight disappointment that my aesthetic prime was casually and nonchalantly avoided, like a worn and tattered native american rug displaced on the I-60. This realization quickly caused me to react in the same way when I accidently left my wallet at Disneyland ; disastrously disorientation, nostalgic, afraid of the future (Tomorrowland), and a heroically hungry for churros . Her reaction to my rapid and exponential aging shook me to the very core, to my very soul, or what I like to call my "Soulcore" (let your mind wander with that one, it's a gold mine inside a diamond mountain. Also a freebee to all those who readers who are desperately looking for a 90's era cover-band name.) Not a even a mere three weeks ago I looked like this:I also had the superhuman ability to site on top of walls and like the Phoenix Suns.

This picture was taken approximately one day ago in my backyard.
I'm not joking, the rest of my life seems to be fated towards aligning with the movie Jack. I now find myself becoming angry and a bit enraged when no one acknowledges my presence when entering the local Walmart. Nebulous, apathic, and Athazagoraphobic are quickly becoming my favorite modes of being, while the thought of wearing brightly colored polo shorts and tops is quickly becoming agreeable.

Hawaii

2008-05-26T23:30:00.000-07:00

I'm going to farm in Hawaii. So here are some of the best images compiled after doing an image search with google.
This is one hot ticket, its like a tropic version of Scarlett Johansen, I plan on dating her when I get there.
I think this is the funniest dolphin in existence, just look at his face. He has to be the Woody Allen of the Ocean, I plan on meeting him too.

This is the douche bag of Hawaii, who swims with dolphins in a life preserver; you can tell that the dolphin laughing at him, not with him.
I plan on kicking ass with these guys, actually just the black guy

I plan on punching Keira Knightly in the stomach just like the guy in the photo is trying to do.

Ideas

2008-05-08T23:58:00.000-07:00

Like all sane American males, I'm not going to be satisfied until I marry a supermodel. But it has come to my attention that while my mother loves my ambition and the world enjoys my bravado; I may not be able to ever find that deep, blindingly beautiful, cook like Rachel Ray, play chess like Vera Menchik, sing like Blonde, fly a plane like Emilia Earhart, golf like Jane Geddes, shake like Shakira, moonwalk like Kalpana Chawla kind of woman. So while I'm still gunnin, runnin, and aiming for a supermodel, I think I have found the perfect compromise. I'm going for a hair box model. This way I know the face is pretty so if her body falters over the passage of time it really won't matter. I know that this is extremely deep blog, and I try to hold myself up to some very high standards, but I had to get this one out. So if you guys know any hair box models, hook me up. Anyways I've been smitten with Drew Barrymore circa Fever Pitch 2004. Just finished watching it, great stuff.

I'll just end this one with a Fredrick Neitzche quote "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how"

Yogi Bear

2008-04-01T10:56:00.000-07:00

This is one of the most stunning skate video intros eva. Check it before you wreck it, makes me want to skate again. The band that is in the clip is called M83, a French electronic outfit.

NEW DANCE: LEGO MAN

2008-03-25T23:01:00.000-07:00

This night was dwindiling down to its demise like every other, brushing teeth, washing face, trimming nose hair, and peeing. I then, through some freak accidental firing of neurons in my brain that I can only imagine looked like the end scene in Speed 2, came into discovering a new dance, the lego man. Think about it. Up next making a dance step mat, so the everyday person can learn.

Hand Soap

2008-03-23T17:15:00.000-07:00

I'm going to share today something with which the world has never seen. Hand Soap. It's my hand, but soap, and with a pleasant lemongrass scent. Version .01beta has been in use at the 1208 S Roosevelt household for approximately a month now and has been well received. The hand is good; it sanitizes, moisturizes, and also manages to bring a long needed humanist aspect to the world of soap. There has been used by a handful of people that has come into contact with the hand, and all have been very pleased. Next step mass production, at least on an arts and craft movement scale. Up next hand soap soap dish.

I'm Going to Blow Your Mind

2008-03-21T19:39:00.001-07:00

The Return of Batman and Robin

2008-03-04T22:12:00.000-08:00

Anticipate
Delegate
Interesting updates
Mind Plasticity
Enhanced Mobility
Hand Hand Soaps
Names for Names of Kids, not mine
Adversely Diversified Adjectives
Pompous Pronouns
Photoshop mockery
Fake beards
Fake Foes
Time Capsules
Capuletes
Hamlet 2000
Hamlet 3001 Space Odyssey
Tuperware Tumbleweeds
The Krispy Universe/Multiverse Theory
Pizza Competition
Creatine
Folk Music
Oceanic Structuralism
and a vacation

The blog will resume, after a vacation

Coffee and Cigarettes

2007-12-08T15:25:00.000-08:00

This page seems to be the most practical and simple. It also seems to reflect some of my personality, primarily the lazy, messy, and unkempt side. I also have a sense that this has already been done, but I could be wrong. This page isn't done yet either, with some slight work needing to be done with the second ring. I have also been noticing how my sense of the English language has been demoted to that of a fourth grader, but one that should be a fifth grader. This fourth grader also has a bigger sister who is in junior college, and she started liberally applying all of these big words that she has learned from her english class to her vocabulary. This big sister now uses these big words to insult her fourth grade brother, who is at the same time perplexed at the phonetic beat boxing, intrigued at the verbal fireworks exploding before him, and hurt because of her intent. He then attempts to use these big words on the playground, and finds that his new wordage is like macaroni and cheese served at a five star restaurant, confusing and cheesy.

Portfolio Cover Page

2007-12-08T00:38:00.000-08:00

It's turning into a reoccurring event now, and here is my favorite. I know this is the one that no one will appreaciate, and I do recognize that it is not very readable, but this is the one with most personality. Criticisms welcome, plus I know I am honored enough to have a number of famous graphic designers read le blog, hack away. Stay tuned, there should be a new one up everyday.

Karate for Christmas

2007-11-13T22:50:00.000-08:00

Well the actual flier says "Karate for the Holidays", but I think they missed out on a gold mine. I mean it was right there in front of them. Take for example when you go to the zoo there is a tamed tiger in a cage waiting, lying there right in front of you, ready to kill, but you don't see it because it has stripes. But more importantly lets think of the social consequences of someone giving you the kick ass gift of karate for Christmas. What is that person trying to say or allude to? Are you not strong or intimidating enough to fend for yourself? So for the holiday of giving, brotherly love, and forgiveness they would rather you learn how to kill, harm, and incapacitate. Or maybe it is a completely random gift and in honor of our saviour, they want you to know how to kick a little harder and be able to wear a bathrobe with various colored belts. But I take that back, I would like to think that if I was givin the gift I would be honored, because the gift of life is the greatest gift, and so through the ancient and potent art of karate I am protecting my greatest gift. The best part is that the flier is actually a postcard also.

Bonus: Pictures of my karate years from the archives, turns out I was a red belt and all of this time I have been saying I was only a yellow with 2 stripes.

What the Krispy Duck!?

2007-11-13T10:47:00.000-08:00

Oh boy, I am a joker. Anyways the next animal in the Krispy series is now done, Krispy Duck. He was much easier than Krispy Dog.

SONG

2007-11-09T23:31:00.000-08:00

http://www.mediafire.com/?7wmnhqncpy9

I re-discovered this album from AC Newman, the leader of the the band the New Pornographers. It's my favorite track off the album, and it was between this or a song by Sade. I'll keep that one in my treasure chest for later.

2:14 AM

2007-11-09T00:55:00.001-08:00

Krispy Dog is now done and happily residing in his comfy abode of a dog house, known to us non-krispy beings as the freezer. He lays next to towering mountain the packaged cow meat from my grandfathers dairy farm, a large bag of Trader Joe's Organic green beans, and an army of ice cube trays. I fear that between now and Christmas I will become attached to Krispy. It is already taking place every time I open the freezer to retrieve a chicken breast or some veggies. I see Krispy there, cheerfully existing in his arctic paradise, laying guard to the cornucopia of culinary delights saying "Hey there, it's all good in the hood bro. I'm made out of freakin inflated sugar gelatin and puffed rice, but I'm still kickin it hardcore. Chip up."

I have to move on though, because we all know life. Up next, Krispy Duck.

Krispy Dog Done

2007-11-07T22:12:00.001-08:00

I Found My Brother

2007-11-07T22:07:00.000-08:00

I mean that in the most least racist way possible, but I really found him. You have to realize that all through out elementary school and jr. high my best friends were African American, and I feel like I needed to continue that trend. His bike was the stupidiest.

Project Christmas Dog Krispy

2007-11-07T11:07:00.001-08:00

There has been little progress........., at least physically. The krispy dog is becoming clearer and more concrete in my "mind's eye" as days pass. He is a cheerful beast, one that will bring Christmas cheer to who ever receives him. The Christmas caroling is also progressing.

First Post, New Adventure

2007-11-04T01:20:00.000-07:00

I'm going to venture into the world of rice krispy treat sculptures. My goal is by the end of this upcoming week to have completed a Bull Terrier dog sculpture. There will be continual updates on this as the days go by.