Diamond Mountain Band Poster

A mockup band poster for the invisible band Diamond Mountain. It's not done yet, but the general idea is there. 

A Prelude

Last year was Krispy Animals.

This is the year of Captain Ragcliff 

BAND NAMES

Band: Diamond Mountain

Album: Gold Mine 

Band: Skeleton Orgy 

Album: Toxic Blood Elixir 

Band: Moon of a Moon

Album: Self Titled 

The Great American Aesthetic Chasm of 08

When at work today, it was stated in a very plain and matterfact kind of tone by the City of Mesa receptionist Maggie, "You look like you're thirty or forty, you just look OOOLD" Now keep in mind that I hadn't seen Maggie in about seven months. Maggie had an apparent look of shock and slight disappointment that my aesthetic prime was casually and nonchalantly avoided, like a worn and tattered native american rug displaced on the I-60. This realization quickly caused me to react in the same way when I accidently left my wallet at Disneyland ; disastrously disorientation, nostalgic, afraid of the future (Tomorrowland), and a heroically hungry for churros . Her reaction to my rapid and exponential aging shook me to the very core, to my very soul, or what I like to call my "Soulcore" (let your mind wander with that one, it's a gold mine inside a diamond mountain. Also a freebee to all those who readers who are desperately looking for a 90's era cover-band name.) Not a even a mere three weeks ago I looked like this:I also had the superhuman ability to site on top of walls and like the Phoenix Suns.

This picture was taken approximately one day ago in my backyard.
I'm not joking, the rest of my life seems to be fated towards aligning with the movie Jack. I now find myself becoming angry and a bit enraged when no one acknowledges my presence when entering the local Walmart. Nebulous, apathic, and Athazagoraphobic are quickly becoming my favorite modes of being, while the thought of wearing brightly colored polo shorts and tops is quickly becoming agreeable.

Hawaii

I'm going to farm in Hawaii. So here are some of the best images compiled after doing an image search with google.
This is one hot ticket, its like a tropic version of Scarlett Johansen, I plan on dating her when I get there.
I think this is the funniest dolphin in existence, just look at his face. He has to be the Woody Allen of the Ocean, I plan on meeting him too.

This is the douche bag of Hawaii, who swims with dolphins in a life preserver; you can tell that the dolphin laughing at him, not with him.
I plan on kicking ass with these guys, actually just the black guy

I plan on punching Keira Knightly in the stomach just like the guy in the photo is trying to do.

Ideas

Like all sane American males, I'm not going to be satisfied until I marry a supermodel. But it has come to my attention that while my mother loves my ambition and the world enjoys my bravado; I may not be able to ever find that deep, blindingly beautiful, cook like Rachel Ray, play chess like Vera Menchik, sing like Blonde, fly a plane like Emilia Earhart, golf like Jane Geddes, shake like Shakira, moonwalk like Kalpana Chawla kind of woman. So while I'm still gunnin, runnin, and aiming for a supermodel, I think I have found the perfect compromise. I'm going for a hair box model. This way I know the face is pretty so if her body falters over the passage of time it really won't matter. I know that this is extremely deep blog, and I try to hold myself up to some very high standards, but I had to get this one out. So if you guys know any hair box models, hook me up. Anyways I've been smitten with Drew Barrymore circa Fever Pitch 2004. Just finished watching it, great stuff.

I'll just end this one with a Fredrick Neitzche quote "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how"

Yogi Bear

This is one of the most stunning skate video intros eva. Check it before you wreck it, makes me want to skate again. The band that is in the clip is called M83, a French electronic outfit. 

NEW DANCE: LEGO MAN

This night was dwindiling down to its demise like every other, brushing teeth, washing face, trimming nose hair, and peeing. I then, through some freak accidental firing of neurons in my brain that I can only imagine looked like the end scene in Speed 2, came into discovering a new dance, the lego man. Think about it. Up next making a dance step mat, so the everyday person can learn.   

Hand Soap

I'm going to share today something with which the world has never seen. Hand Soap. It's my hand, but soap, and with a pleasant lemongrass scent. Version .01beta has been in use at the 1208 S Roosevelt household for approximately a month now and has been well received. The hand is good; it sanitizes, moisturizes, and also manages to bring a long needed humanist aspect to the world of soap. There has been used by a handful of people that has come into contact with the hand, and all have been very pleased. Next step mass production, at least on an arts and craft movement scale. Up next hand soap soap dish. 

I'm Going to Blow Your Mind

The Return of Batman and Robin

Anticipate
Delegate
Interesting updates
Mind Plasticity
Enhanced Mobility
Hand Hand Soaps
Names for Names of Kids, not mine
Adversely Diversified Adjectives
Pompous Pronouns
Photoshop mockery
Fake beards
Fake Foes
Time Capsules
Capuletes
Hamlet 2000
Hamlet 3001 Space Odyssey
Tuperware Tumbleweeds
The Krispy Universe/Multiverse Theory
Pizza Competition
Creatine
Folk Music
Oceanic Structuralism
and a vacation

The blog will resume, after a vacation